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Episode 216: Beyond Our Control (w/ Michael & Lauren McAfee)

By January 15, 2024January 19th, 2024Podcast

It can be so hard to let go of control, can’t it? We make plans, we set goals, and we want the outcome to be firmly in our grasp. But it’s not always that simple, and God often invites us to release the outcomes to Him.

My guests today experienced this when they decided to start a family and experienced a seven-year delay before it would eventually occur via adoption.

I have the honor of being joined by Michael & Lauren McAfee. Lauren is the founder of Stand for Life and is the Ministry Director at Hobby Lobby Ministry Investments. Michael is the founder and president of Inspire Experiences and a teaching pastor at Council Road Church. Together, they have two daughters through adoption and recently released their book, Beyond Our Control.

In this episode, they walk us through their journey of starting a family, how entitled expectations can rob us of joy, how we can let go of control when we need to, the importance of our emotions, and so much more.

TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:

1. Many things are beyond our control.

This becomes very apparent in the foster care community when the future is uncertain and can change at a moment’s notice. There are many things in life that we have no control over, and that’s a reality we have to embrace. When we step into challenging circumstances, it’s important to lean on God and trust Him fully with the outcome.

“Adoption and foster care is always complex and we step into that space knowing that so much of it is beyond your control. It’s such a daily practice of learning to trust the Lord.”

2. Avoid entitled expectations.

Entitled expectations are when we feel like we are owed something. When we don’t get those things, we are actually robbed of the joy from the things that we do have. Entitled expectations cause us to take blessings for granted and miss out on the opportunity to worship God for what He does give us.

“I had a lot of misconceptions that not only set me up for failure in terms of expecting that kids were within my control, but it actually robbed me of both joy and gratitude to God for the things He has given me that I was taking for granted.”

3. We were created with emotions.

God designed us with emotions. They are indicators of what we care about and the things we have lost and it’s honoring to God to express them. It is healthy to create space for both our faith and our feelings. After experiencing a loss or realizing that we don’t have control, it’s important to process our emotions, being honest with ourselves and with God about what we’re feeling.

“There are times God takes away things we hold dear, not because He is vindictive or uncaring or unkind, but because He wants to give us more opportunity to have more of Himself and to experience the love of the Father that we ultimately long for even while we mourn the loss of a son.”

RESOURCES FROM TODAY’S SHOW

 

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We hope this episode has helped you wherever you are on your foster care journey. That’s the goal! If so, will you tell others?

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Meet Our Guests

Michael and Lauren McAfee are adoptive parents, authors, and founders of nonprofits. Michael is the founder and president of Inspire Experiences and teaching pastor at Council Road Church. Lauren is the founder of Stand for Life and is the Ministry Director at Hobby Lobby Ministry Investments. Together, they have two daughters through adoption and are co-authors of their latest book, Beyond Our Control. They fell in love sometime between middle school and high school over theological conversations on AIM.

Foster Parents, check with your agency to see if listening to this podcast will count toward your foster care training hours!

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