Substance use is a major factor in foster care cases; in 2017 alone, more than half of the children who entered care under age 5 did so because of parental drug use. Addiction is an issue that runs parallel to the foster care community, and it’s a struggle that agency workers and foster parents often witness firsthand in the lives of the families they serve.
For those of us who have never battled with addiction, it can be easy to think we have nothing in common with parents whose substance use results in their children being removed from their care. However, my guest today is here to help us see these people through a new lens—one that emphasizes compassion, understanding, and shared humanity.
Christina Dent is the Founder and Vice President of Mission at End It For Good, a nonprofit that invites people to support approaches to drug addiction that prioritize life, preserve families, and promote public safety. As an adoptive mom and former foster mom, Christina’s experiences in foster care ignited a passion in her for finding better solutions for addiction.
In this episode, she shares the realities of addiction and drug use, how drug addiction intersects with foster care, why we should reframe the way we think and speak about those struggling with addiction, and much more.
- Connect with Christina on her website, Instagram or Facebook
- [BOOK] Curious: A Foster Mom’s Discovery of an Unexpected Solution to Drugs and Addiction
- Email [email protected] and be sure to mention this podcast for a FREE copy of Curious
- Empowered to Connect Conference
- [BOOK] Chasing the Scream: The First and Last Days of the War on Drugs
- Give to The Forgotten Initiative
- Foster Care & the Church
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. Navigating the past is a lifelong journey.
Sorting out the pain and trauma someone may have experienced takes time. When we come alongside others—whether that be the children in our care, biological parents, or even our spouse or our friends who are trying to navigate the pain of the past—it’s not our job to jump in and save the day. Our role is simply to provide support and a safe place as they traverse their path of healing.
“I could immediately look back at my own life and see how traumatic experiences from my own childhood still shape me.”
2. Learn how to hold conflicting emotions.
When we’re considering someone who is struggling with addiction, it’s easy to slip into black and white thinking. We may imagine that these individuals are bad parents or that they willingly chose for their lives to end up this way. And honestly, sometimes it can feel easier to think in these extreme terms—especially if we’ve grown attached to a child in our care and wish for them to stay with us. But the reality is that we need to make room for the conflicting emotions that exist in the grey area between black and white. This means recognizing that birth parents can make poor choices AND love their children very much at the same time. It becomes easier to live in this grey area when we forge real relationships with those who struggle with addiction. Often, we find that we have more in common with them than we first realized.
“It’s much easier to hold that emotional line if things are black and white. It is emotionally far more difficult to hold that middle space where there are positives, there’s negatives, there’s harm, but also good—living in that space is hard.”
3. Pain can often drive the choices we make.
It’s important to shift our thinking from assuming that the deeper the addiction is, the worse the person battling it is. Instead, we should consider what painful experiences and trauma drive a person to drugs. Here are a few questions to consider to help reframe your thinking: What is underneath their behavior of addiction? Why did that coping mechanism develop? What might they have gone through to cause them to end up here?
“We have focused so much on the drugs, but we have failed to recognize that the drugs are just a coping mechanism for something else. The deeper the addiction, the deeper the pain the person is dealing with.”
Meet Our Guest
Christina Dent is the Founder and Vice President of Mission at End It For Good, a nonprofit that invites people to support approaches to drug addiction that prioritize life, preserve families, and promote public safety. As an adoptive mom and former foster mom, Christina’s experiences in foster care ignited a passion in her for finding better solutions for addiction. She has shared her insights through various platforms, including TEDx, interviews, USA Today, and through her book, Curious: A Foster Mom’s Discovery of an Unexpected Solution to Drugs and Addiction. Christina has been married to her college sweetheart, Thomas, for 20 years, and she is the proud mom of three sons.
Get encouragement and updates in your inbox.
Be the first to know about new episodes, posts, resources, and stay in the loop about what’s coming up.
Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:
