For teens (and for any child in foster care), how can we create spaces where they are safe, feel belonging, and develop their sense of independence? How can we give them involvement in the development of what that space looks like?
My guest today is a dear friend, Chandler James. Chandler used to be an Advocate Coach here at The Forgotten Initiative and today is the Director of Church Mobilization for The Riverside Project, a nonprofit dedicated to transforming the foster care system in Houston. Chandler and his wife, Caitlin, are foster parents and are currently supporting four teens, three of whom have aged out of foster care and one that they have permanency of.
In our conversation, you’ll hear helpful principles for creating a sense of belonging for children who have experienced trauma, the challenges they’ve experienced of supporting teens as young parents, how to communicate boundaries while providing independence, the importance of caring for teens in foster care, and so much more.
- Connect with Chandler on his Instagram.
- The Riverside Project
- Give to The Forgotten Initiative
- Discover the Brand New Just Neighbors Podcast
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. Belonging looks different for everyone.
Chandler shared how he tries to instill both a sense of independence and a sense of belonging for the children in his care. What it means to belong will vary from child to child, and there is no black-and-white answer to what this looks like. It’s important that we as parents adjust our approach to who a child is.
“We want them to feel independent, but also feel belonging.”
2. Safety is determined by the individual.
We may know that our household is a safe place, but our measure of safety needs to come from the one experiencing the space. This takes listening and learning from the child or teen and adapting to their needs. This also is where we practice important TBRI and trauma-informed principles as we give options, listen carefully, and provide space for emotions.
“While we are the curators of the space, we need to allow them to help develop an environment that is safe for them.”
3. This work leads to growth.
Being a foster parent is both rewarding and challenging! You’ll learn more about yourself, have regular opportunities to draw closer to Christ, and will grow as an individual. We need to be ready to address what may come up from our own life and embrace the journey of growth!
“I have found that it’s through becoming foster parents of teens that I have learned the most about myself. I have learned more about my walk with Jesus through this than anything else I have done in my life.”
Meet Our Guest
Chandler James is a foster parent and the Director of Church Mobilization for The Riverside Project, a nonprofit in Houston that is dedicated to transforming the foster care system there. He has a bachelor’s degree in Religion and a Master of Arts in Theological Studies. Chandler is passionate about mobilizing congregations to address community needs. He and his wife, Caitlin, are foster parents and are currently supporting four teens, three of whom have aged out of foster care and one that they have permanency of.
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Other Episodes You Might Enjoy:
Episode 66: Traditional Parenting Vs. Trauma-Informed Parenting: Pursuing Connection with Your Child
