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S6E11: The Birth Parent Perspective: What It’s Like Having Your Child Removed From You

By June 3, 2019September 9th, 2019Podcast

"It’s a hard pill to swallow when you are a mother and you know the best thing for your child isn’t you.”

Ashley found herself caught in addiction after being first exposed to narcotic pain killers at the hospital. Because of this, her son was removed from her custody and put into foster care. Ashley’s story is one of brokenness and redemption. Today’s episode brings us the unique perspective of the birthparent.


1. Birth Parents Need Your Empathy and Understanding.

As challenging as it can be, let’s remember that everyone has a story. Ashley encourages us to try to find a place of empathy and put ourselves in the shoes of birth parents. No one dreams of the day they will be so addicted to substances that they neglect their children. But sadly, many of our vulnerable parents are caught in this hopeless trap. Addiction is a disease.

The addiction overpowered all my instincts. I felt trapped. I didn’t know how to get out. I didn’t know what to do. I thought I was the only one.

Ashley Darrow

2. Foster Parents, You Have a Beautiful Opportunity to Show Love.

Addiction doesn’t have to be the end of the storyand in many cases, it’s not! Without the love and support of others though, it’s nearly impossible to find healing. As foster parents, there are many ways we can show love and support to the parents of those we are caring for.

Here are just a few ways: 
  • Pray not only for your child and their parents but also for your heart.
  • Treat the children in your care as your own. Show them abundant love!
  • Take lots of pictures of big and small milestones in your child’s life and send them to their parents. 
  • Invite your child’s parents to birthday celebrations, doctor’s appointments, and/or church for special programs.

Want more help? Check out our new FREE resource for Navigating Birth Parent Relationships

3. Redemption is Possible!

Ashley’s story shows us that even seemingly hopeless circumstances can be redeemed. Brokenness does not have to be the end of the story. Trust will take time to rebuildbut healing is possible! Because of Jesus, there is always hope! 

No matter how far you go, you can be restored. Any situation is redeemable.

Ashley Darrow


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We hope this episode has helped you wherever you are on your foster care journey. That’s the goal! If so, will you tell others?

Share this post or rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts (or wherever you listen) and leave us a brief review

Meet Our Guest

For over 6 years, Ashley was caught in the cycle of addiction. Her son was removed from her care and placed into foster care because of it. After 2 years in the system, Ashley and her son were reunified, and she is now a passionate advocate for foster care! Today, her life looks completely different. She has been sober for longer than she was caught in addiction and has received her college degree and is working on a second one! She is married to Joshua and lives together with her family in Florida. 

Foster Parents, check with your agency to see if listening to this podcast will count toward your foster care training hours!

Special thanks to Resonate Recordings for their knock-it-out-of-the-park podcast production services! If you have a podcast or want to start one, reach out to our friends at Resonate!

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