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Episode 244: Finding Security & Identity as an Adoptee (w/ Trisha Priebe)

Regardless of our place in the foster care community, understanding who we are, who we belong to, and where our sense of security comes from is vital to our confidence in where we belong.

It is such an honor to have Trisha Priebe on the podcast. She’s an adoptee and adoptive mom who serves as the Sr. Communications Coordinator for Lifesong for Orphans. Trisha is also a speaker and writer who has published 16 books. She lives in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, where she is wife to her husband, Luke, and is mom to three.

In this episode, we explore why every adoptee’s experience is unique, how foster care and adoption teach us the complexity of love, why parenting any child is a leap of faith, and the importance of helping our children identify truth.

TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:

1. Great parenting is not dependent on our feelings.

It’s not uncommon for foster and adoptive parents to feel guilty when their feelings don’t match up with their expectations. Sometimes we expect to feel more bonded to a child in our care or we expect to feel a certain way when a milestone comes. Trisha reminds us that right feelings don’t create right parenting; right parenting creates right feelings. We can be a good parent even if we are feeling conflicted internally.

“We can be good parents even on the day that our feelings don’t cooperate.”

2. Everyone is looking for a place to belong.

Trisha reminds us that belonging is a human issue, not just an adoptee or child in foster care issue. We are at a time in history where there is a crisis of belonging. People are struggling with loneliness like they never have before. In order to discover where we belong, we have to come to terms with the story that has been written with our lives. This doesn’t mean that our story up to this point defines our present or our future, but we need to understand and make peace with the part it plays.

“If foster care and adoption teaches us anything, it’s the incredible complexity of love.”

3. Parenting is a leap of faith.

Parenting is a leap of faith no matter how a child comes into your home. Genetics do not guarantee that you will bond easily with your child or that they won’t have behavioral issues. Sometimes we can be quick to label a child in foster care’s behavior as a result of their background, when in reality there are many times it is normal behavior for a child.

“If you think your genetics will ensure that you have a child that meets your expectations or makes you happy, I think you are placing too much trust in your genetics.”

SPREAD THE WORD!

We hope this episode has helped you wherever you are on your foster care journey. That’s the goal! If so, will you tell others?

Share this post or rate the podcast on Apple Podcasts (or wherever you listen) and leave us a brief review. 

Meet Our Guest

Trisha Priebe is a speaker, writer, and Senior Communications Coordinator for Lifesong for Orphans. She is also a former foster child, an adoptee, and an adoptive and biological mom. Trisha lives in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula with her husband, Luke, and their three children. She is a speaker and writer with 16 published books, and describes herself as anti-self-help but fiercely pro-hope.

Foster Parents, check with your agency to see if listening to this podcast will count toward your foster care training hours!

 

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