My guest today experienced a childhood filled with painful circumstances, parents who struggled with drug addiction, and the death of his father at the age of seven. You can imagine the amount of trauma and instability he experienced growing up.
Corey Johnston, in spite of the instability of his mother, always longed to feel like her son. God was gracious to invite Corey into a relationship with Him. And as an adult, he gave his life to Christ and started a church plant.
But even after that, he would encounter unmet hopes through a miscarriage that would eventually open the door to fostering and then later adopting his son. Corey shares with us why it feels so difficult when hopes are unmet, how to process grief, and many more nuggets of wisdom along the way.
I was blessed by Corey’s story as I have personally experienced unmet hopes through a failed adoption. If you’ve ever wondered, “God, how can you make this good?,” then you won’t want to miss this episode.
Listen in!
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. Seek to understand the need beneath the surface.
Both children and adults who have experienced trauma sometimes utilize behaviors that may hurt those around them. What is important to understand is that this behavior is rooted in the desire to be seen, to be understood, and to meet a need. That is not to say that we should just excuse away all behaviors, but when we can have empathy for what is going on underneath the surface we are able to extend understanding and grace, and respond with intention.
“Much of my lashing out came from a desire to be seen. But when I was brought into a home that had stability, I was seen.”
2. Grief is a process.
Deep emotions, traumatic experiences, and unmet hopes often produce grief. This can happen when we anchor ourselves tightly to hopes and when they don’t come to be, we feel extreme loss. It’s alright to hope for things but, when those hopes are unmet, it’s important to walk through the process of grief with patience and care.
“Grief is not just an emotion; it is a process.”
3. The story isn’t over.
If you have been through difficult circumstances or have ever cried out to God, “How can you make this good?!,” then you know how hard it can be to see why God allows suffering. You may have experienced a miscarriage, are the foster parent of a child with a drug addiction, or even a failed adoption. Whatever it may be that you are going through or have walked through, we don’t always get to see the entire story. However, we know that God is telling a narrative of love through the Gospel and through all of creation, and we know that He is faithful in His purpose and His love.
“I don’t know everything, but I at least see something that You were doing in that process.”
Meet Our Guest
Corey Johnston is a foster parent, adoptive father, and the Lead Pastor of Heights Community in Collinsville, IL. Corey grew up around trauma and hurt as the son of a drug addict. He had many stepfathers throughout his childhood and would often be cared for by his grandparents. But God’s hand was at work even when it couldn’t be seen. Today, Corey and his wife, Andrea, have two biological children, another through adoption, and a foster child.
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