Grief can be a gift.
We don’t often delight in having to navigate hard circumstances, and yet, in foster care, we know we will be met by loss. God does not ask us to see our losses or our child’s losses as good. It’s not about minimizing our loss, and still, our perspective on grief matters. We can begin to see grief as a gift when we:
- Adamantly refuse the lies of the enemy.
- Relentlessly believe the promises of Scripture.
- Boldly claim the guarantees of grace.
- Carefully discern the messaging of secularists.
- Regularly rehearse the pattern of provision.
- Safely rest in the sovereignty of God.
- Truly savor the nearness of the Lord.
“It’s a kind thing of God to allow tough things into my life. It just doesn’t necessarily feel that way at the time.”
God is always good.
He does not change in character based upon our circumstances. He has proven himself that He is good. He is bigger and more powerful than our circumstances. The loss we feel in foster care is not the exception to His goodness. This doesn’t mean that we must be thankful for the loss, but we can be thankful to God for his plan in our lives and the lives of our children. God knows and cares for us in our loss and grief, not only in the absence of it.
“We have to trust that God cannot be anything but good even when our circumstances are not good.”
We must talk about grief.
Pushing grief down and avoiding it does not make it go away. Instead, when we lean into grief, we can share more boldly the goodness of God. We trust Him, even though we don’t understand all of the details. It’s not about fixing our grief, but instead letting it point to our humble dependence upon our Savior. If we trust Him, He can be our great Shepherd, giving us all we need.
“We talk about the hard parts, and we grieve the hard parts. We accept the range of emotions that come with the hard parts. But, we ultimately come back to the fact that God is good, and He has a plan for the life of every child.”
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