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Good Grief: Navigating Loss in Foster Care – S7E11

By December 30, 2019March 9th, 2020Podcast

"As an adoptee, I believe wholeheartedly, that adoptees are not and cannot be the exception to God's good and perfect plan."

Foster care begins with loss—a family broken, unable to be together. This reality weighs on biological parents who long to be reunited whether that’s a possibility or not, children who are trying to make sense of all that is happening, caseworkers who care deeply for both the biological and foster families on their caseloads, and foster families who struggle to know how to help the kiddos in their homes navigate this hard journey while also managing their own emotions. Loss feels anything but good. And yet, our guest, Trisha, an adoptee and adoptive mom, brings a message of hope to us. Rooted in the promises of God, we can mourn loss and see our grief as a gift.


Grief can be a gift.

We don’t often delight in having to navigate hard circumstances, and yet, in foster care, we know we will be met by loss. God does not ask us to see our losses or our child’s losses as good. It’s not about minimizing our loss, and still, our perspective on grief matters. We can begin to see grief as a gift when we:

  1. Adamantly refuse the lies of the enemy.
  2. Relentlessly believe the promises of Scripture.
  3. Boldly claim the guarantees of grace.
  4. Carefully discern the messaging of secularists.
  5. Regularly rehearse the pattern of provision.
  6. Safely rest in the sovereignty of God.
  7. Truly savor the nearness of the Lord.

“It’s a kind thing of God to allow tough things into my life. It just doesn’t necessarily feel that way at the time.”

God is always good.

He does not change in character based upon our circumstances. He has proven himself that He is good. He is bigger and more powerful than our circumstances. The loss we feel in foster care is not the exception to His goodness. This doesn’t mean that we must be thankful for the loss, but we can be thankful to God for his plan in our lives and the lives of our children. God knows and cares for us in our loss and grief, not only in the absence of it.

“We have to trust that God cannot be anything but good even when our circumstances are not good.”

We must talk about grief.

Pushing grief down and avoiding it does not make it go away. Instead, when we lean into grief, we can share more boldly the goodness of God. We trust Him, even though we don’t understand all of the details. It’s not about fixing our grief, but instead letting it point to our humble dependence upon our Savior. If we trust Him, He can be our great Shepherd, giving us all we need.

“We talk about the hard parts, and we grieve the hard parts. We accept the range of emotions that come with the hard parts. But, we ultimately come back to the fact that God is good, and He has a plan for the life of every child.”

Dealing with grief and need encouragement?

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We hope this episode has helped you wherever you are on your foster care journey. That’s the goal! If so, will you tell others?

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Meet Our Guest

Trisha Priebe was adopted, has adopted, and is a fierce adoption advocate. In addition to serving as Communications Coordinator for Lifesong for Orphans, she has written 6 books—including 3 with NYT Bestselling author Jerry B. Jenkins. She lives in Michigan’s (beautiful!) Upper Peninsula with her husband Luke, their 3 children, and lots of bears. You can connect with her any time at [email protected] or at

Foster Parents, check with your agency to see if listening to this podcast will count toward your foster care training hours!

Special thanks to Resonate Recordings for their knock-it-out-of-the-park podcast production services! If you have a podcast or want to start one, reach out to our friends at Resonate!

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