Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) can affect children from any background, but those in foster care are especially vulnerable. There are ten main types of ACEs that have been identified—ranging from abuse to neglect to household dysfunction. All of them have the potential to negatively impact future outcomes for a child.
Our latest guest, Angela Paganelli, is a former foster youth who experienced all ten ACEs. After the tragic loss of her mother at the age of 13, Angela spent her teenage years in foster care and institutional settings. These formative experiences shaped her passion for supporting children in care, leading her to start her own foster care ministry.
Together with her husband, Rick, Angela has raised three biological children, fostered over 20 children, and adopted four. As a TBRI practitioner, Angela leverages her experience to advocate for trauma-informed care in the foster care system.
In this episode, Angela shares explains what ACEs are and what their long-term impacts can look like, why it’s crucial to help children in the foster care system feel seen, the power “do-overs” can have in one’s healing process, and much more.
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. Children often gravitate toward what is familiar.
Sometimes, children will want to stay with their biological families even when that situation is no longer safe for them. Similarly, when children are placed with a foster family, they may feel out of place or on edge in the new environment. In these situations, children may show behaviors or emotions that are hard to understand—like refusing to eat certain foods or feeling scared to sleep alone. It’s important to remember that the dysfunction they’ve experienced may feel familiar to them, and they might mistakenly interpret that familiarity as safety. We need to offer understanding and give these children time to adjust to a new normal.
“Sometimes we want our dysfunction because it feels familiar.”
2. Presence is powerful.
One of the primary ways we can help children overcome the lasting effects of ACEs is through reliable, secure, safe relationships. You don’t have to be the perfect parent to support a child as they heal. What is most important is that you are consistently there for them, cheering them on during the good days and comforting them on the bad ones.
“She was just present. She was there to let me know what was going on. She was just so present that it comforted me in a time where I didn’t know what was happening.”
3. It’s never too late for a “do-over”.
When talking about ACEs and the traumatic impact they can have on children, it’s easy to lose hope and wonder how anyone has a chance at overcoming them. But there’s good news! While we can never go back and change the past, we can encourage joy and healing in the present through what Angela calls “do-overs”. For example, she likes to make every Christmas with her kids extra special, because when she was growing up, her hopes around this holiday were frequently met with disappointment. As her story shows, it’s never too late to find hope and healing from our past.
“I get to go back and fix that. We are going to heal these things.”
Meet Our Guest
Angela Paganelli is a former foster youth and a current advocate, TBRI practitioner, and author. She is also a foster and adoptive parent. After the tragic loss of her mother at the age of 13, Angela spent her teenage years in foster care and institutional settings. These formative settings shaped her passion for supporting children in care, leading her to start her own foster care ministry, Foster Blessings. Angela and her husband, Rick, have raised 3 biological children, fostered over 20 children, and adopted four.
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