As these new people in my life spoke about their journeys in the foster care community, I suddenly realized that I had a lot of preconceived notions about what foster care was actually like. I…
You can’t enter the world of foster care and not be changed by it. It affects so many areas of everyday life, including how you parent. Being foster parents, we quickly realized we would need…
If there is anything that being a foster and adoptive parent has taught me, it is how much I don’t know. I see the world through my own experiences, and those experiences fall woefully short…
There are so many unknowns that come with stepping into foster care. As a foster parent, I’m learning—yes, still learning; ya’ll it’s a process—to keep walking forward amid unknowns. I can plan and do my…
The learning curve in knowing what to do and say as a foster parent feels steep sometimes. As children in your care are trying to make sense of all that is happening around them, and…
Because our focus as a ministry is on foster care, we want to highlight specific information and needs for the “orphans” in the U.S.—specifically kids in foster care waiting to be adopted. Take some time…
Can we talk about biological family for a minute? When we stepped into this foster parenting journey years ago, honestly, I had NO interest in getting to know our future foster kids’ biological families. I…
My dear friend, I’m sorry you’re in this place of walking (or crawling) through grief. I’m sorry you’ve experienced (or are preparing to experience) loss. I know there is nothing to be said to take…
I suppose there is this moment in every parent’s journey. We know it’s coming at the start. The number of days that your child will grow within the walls of your home is limited. There…
When I’m on a rollercoaster, I find it extremely difficult to throw my arms into the air and let them flail about. I find no enjoyment in that. Instead, I keep my hands firmly connected…
Do you ever open up your Bible app, hit play, and let the truth of God's Word wash over you? If not, try it; I promise it's a breath of fresh air from the constant…
We’re on the cusp of reunification. Here, as we near the end, this isn’t what I thought it would be like. I wanted to feel secure in knowing that the same patterns would not repeat…
Sometimes, it just feels easier to avoid the mess of foster care. It feels more comfortable not to pursue communication with biological parents. It feels easier to keep everyone else on the team at an…
Hair care is on the list of so many other things we have to learn about as we care for new kiddos. Instead of letting it stress us out or overwhelm us, we can use…
Foster care is full of good and hard, ups and downs, joys and sorrows. It's a place where you hold more than one emotion at a time, and often those feelings and emotions oppose one…
Whether you're walking the road towards reunification and you're mourning the loss of a child's presence in your home or you're holding onto each moment knowing that the day they leave is drawing near, grief…
Teens. It's often one of the big scary words in the foster care world, so the fact that you're here reading this means a lot! It means you're open and willing to learning more.
I think about all of the times where I’m struggling to believe something good about myself, and the moment that someone else validates for me that they are with me and that I have value…
Have you ever been handed a decision that you want to say, “wait, shouldn’t I have a say in this?” I have valuable thoughts to add before you make these changes in the case. I…
For those of us that have interactions with agency workers, we have an important role to play. We cannot be another “challenging” part of their day. We need to be encouraging, full of hope, and…
Visit days are the worst. And visit days are, arguably, one of the most important days for our children. It's paradoxical—much like the rest of foster care—holding two strong emotions in the same breath. If…
Today, I don’t like foster care. I don’t like seeing the faults of the system. It was never the final or complete solution meant to overcome abuse and neglect, but it’s what we have to…
If you’re painfully journeying through a difficult season right know, we see you. Friend, you are heard. Please know, you are NOT alone. It may be hard, but set some intentional time aside to read…
There is a way back to the joy and eagerness, and we have a God who has shown us how. We can fight against the enemy and against our sin. We can stand on the…
Foster care has changed me. It's changed our family. Change isn't wrong; in fact, I think this change has been good—though hard—for us. I've had to think about things differently. Here are three powerful lessons…
This school year will be different from all the years' past. How do we prepare our children well for these differences and changes? How do we walk our children who need additional educational support for…
We became a big family suddenly through foster care—growing by 3 kids in 5 months and doubling the number of children in our home. Not long after, we added one more to our crew through…
I'll never forget the first phone call we shared. She was very nervous, and so was I. She had her stereotypes of folks like me, and I had mine of folks like her, but when…
Today, I rarely think twice about the fact that I’m a single parent—it’s just normal. My biggest struggle in single parenting initially, wasn’t necessarily parenting alone, but getting to a place of understanding that my…
I've been part of putting together Journey Bags, Christmas presents, bed builds, and different events we threw for a local agency. I knew these projects were important and that they made a difference in some…
For many of us, we've stepped into foster care because we care about people. We care about serving and caring for those around us. Even if you aren't directly involved in the foster care community,…
We’ve gathered some resources focusing on marriage in ministry—foster care ministry specifically. Check them out. What are things you and your spouse need to implement to stay healthy and supporting others well? Set a time…
Our words are powerful indicators of our hearts. And they hold power to impact others beyond what we might realize. They can bring encouragement or devastation, depending on how you use them.
After five and a half years of marriage and no children of our own, the Lord saw it fit to make my wife and I the foster parents of two beautiful little girls. One year…
Being a father in a biblical community comes with a list of expectations and responsibilities that are as overwhelming as they are complex. But what if we could distill the complex role of fatherhood into…
Last night after reassuring her that the room was safe and our house was safe, I took a risk and pressed in. I asked, "Honey, were there ever scary people that came into Mommy and…
Parenting is the greatest, yet most difficult thing you’ll ever experience. I don’t know if you’ve heard this said, but it holds true in my life. Parenting is the role in my life where I’ve…
We are far from experts on our country's history regarding race and what is happening right now, but we are listening. We are learning. We want to see change. We are in this together. Here…
I've always been interested in adoption, and I've expressed interest in the foster care system. Last summer, I went to a youth conference put on by Christ In Youth, and one of the focuses of…
It was bad. I remember looking out the window at the kids playing, and I felt nothing but tired and overwhelmed. My husband would come home from work where he would often find me on…
We want to encourage you to take some time to sit down and create a vision for this summer with your family—a realistic vision that will not only strengthen the relationships in and around your…
How can I love a child who was not born to me? It’s a question often asked, or if not asked out loud, it’s that thought that feels too cold to say but a question…
A lot has changed in the last couple months, and to be honest, I think there are some serious consequences to the rapid pace of change we've experienced recently. I know I could use a…
Whether you’re a biological, adoptive, foster, or stepmom, you are MOM. Whether you are with your kids this Mother’s Day or they are separated from you (no matter the reason), we are so thankful to…
Not too long ago, we asked this question on Facebook—what is your #1 tip you would give to a new foster parent? And wow! We got a lot of answers! You can check out the…
I’m encouraged by, feel heavy-hearted for, and praying with friends near and far who have shared their stories of infertility—stories wrought with unbearable pain, stories still unfolding, and stories of incredible loss.
There are things that happen in our foster care journeys that only others involved in the world of foster care will understand and laugh out loud right alongside you.
This time at home balancing work, homeschool, and caring for children is stressful. Super stressful. For some, balancing life works well; if this is you, you're a rockstar! For many others, this time feels chaotic…
Advocating for my child's best interest can be so tricky. Do you ever want to say, "Forget this advocacy nonsense, I'm going to FIGHT for what is right!"?
We love reading in our house—from growing imagination and concentration to building vocabulary and emotional empathy; books introduce our littles and bigs to so much! Particularly as a fostering family, books have helped us walk…
Foster care doesn't get to stop in times of crisis; sure, some things about it have to change depending on the state, but now more than ever, we need to advocate and care for those…
I'm not a medical professional, and I'm not here to report my latest research about COVID-19. But I am here to address what I think is potentially just as dangerous, especially as followers of Jesus,…
Trauma shows itself in all facets of the lives of our children, whether they are at home in our care or in public spaces. While we have a part to play at home as foster…
“Mom! What do I do? What do I do?” I could tell things had escalated by the tone in my daughter’s voice as she called out for me. This was the moment I realized just…
I’ll never forget the day I learned a hard lesson at the grocery store check-out line. I was using WIC, and from behind me I heard, “How does she even have those coupons? Do you…
Church should be one of the safest places for children from hard places and those caring for them. Unfortunately, their experience can be the opposite if the church is uneducated on trauma and the effects…
Can foster parents claim their child as a dependent when filing taxes? Whether you've been doing your own taxes for years or have someone run the numbers for you, this question can be tough to…
We understand this is so hard. You may be wrecked to your core right now. Or maybe you're struggling even to start grieving because you don't want to feel the pain. Please know all the…
Children in foster care need the same things every other kid needs—shelter, safety, love, compassion, and guidance. Pray the following scriptures over the many children in foster care, both in your own community and across…
Being in court, looking up at a judge, is a stark realization that your child’s life is in the hands of a court system you have no control over. I prayed against feelings of frustration,…
Building a relationship with a birth parent of a child in our care can be the most beautiful yet challenging thing we ever experience. It will never go as planned or expected, so we should…
We want to see people everywhere supporting the foster care community and experiencing Jesus together. This isn’t just a great tagline here at The Forgotten Initiative, but it’s the vision we’re passionate about. It drives…
Ten months ago, I became a foster parent. I was licensed for quite sometime before that, but ten months ago, I received my first placement, and a little girl entered my life and home. I…
Whether you've found yourself reading this with a heart already oozing with compassion or you're pleading for a new perspective, here are some great resources to help you on your journey!
We're six months into this foster parenting thing, and we have learned a lot of lessons. But, I'm finding some lessons to be a lot harder to learn and adjust to than I thought.
The hard in foster care is real. As much as we all work to try and create clarity and play on the same team, it sometimes feels like the conflict will never end.
Stepping into foster parenting is a big deal, and not something that you should take lightly. Check-out these great resources as you think and pray through what your next steps look like.
Growing up, I found myself hanging with friends in the neighborhood that were a couple of years older than me. They were so cool! But once I got to be their age, I realized that…
Deep in the trenches of foster parenting, it can be a lonely place to find yourself. Our prayer is that this resource will bring you encouragement and hope as you interact with truths from God’s…
Being a foster dad is the most beautiful opportunity to invest in the lives of children who come from hard places. It’s a rewarding, exciting, and purpose-filled experience. But it’s also really hard...
Whether it's eating healthier, or working out more regularly, one of the best byproducts of starting a new healthy habit is beginning to actually see the results... and the habit of being generous and giving…
Trauma. Goodness, there is A LOT behind that small six-letter word. As a caregiver, it’s your job to create a safe and healing space for your child, but what does that look like? What if…
I will never forget how I felt when my son’s birth mother passed away. Of the many emotions that were running through my mind, there is one that sticks out.
I love Christmas. Well...I love most things about Christmas. No season is perfect, but I love so many things about this special time of year. While gift-giving can be a great experience, it also has…
I'm sure you're researching, taking notes, organizing, and doing everything you can to prepare for children to soon walk into your life. Or maybe you're past that stage, and you've been waiting…for months and months.…
We had some expectations about what foster care would look like. Some of those expectations were met, but most of them looked much different than we anticipated. So I wanted to share a brief list…
Parenting. What a journey! Sometimes, it’s the greatest journey I’ve been on; other times, not so much. And what about when my child has multiple people parenting them? How do we manage?
Foster care is a mix of emotions for us big people. I don’t pretend to know what it’s like for our little people. I just try to look for any clues I can.
Meet Cherith. She’s married to Brandon, and they have three beautiful daughters and a sweet pup named Cindy Lou. If you’re exploring the idea of becoming a foster parent, keep reading. Cherith answers the questions…
One of the most common questions we hear being asked in foster care is, “How will bringing kids in and out of our home affect our forever kids?” You may be surprised with the answer...
As I grew up, I saw monkeys at the zoo and on TV channels like Animal Planet, but a monkey was just that…a monkey. But on Halloween night years ago, I was shocked to realize…
Who wants chewed up cushions? No takers? A recliner now broken in two? What about a loveseat with once comfy micro-suede that now looks more shiny than soft?
Foster care is hard, and it can leave us asking questions like, "Why am I in this? Why is this so hard? How will I ever make it through?" We pray that you find hope…
Getting the call for a placement comes with a wave of emotions. The moment you see the worker’s number come up on your phone, you’ve already got butterflies about what she will tell you. Will…
Last week we read some really great posts about co-parenting, the really messy reality that foster care is HARD, and a we found a great "thank you" letter that encouraged us a bunch! If you're…
You're a reader, but how are you supposed to figure out which books can give you the encouragement, insight, and help that you need on your foster care journey? At TFI, we get all kinds…
Life in foster care—it’s something. We’ve all had that day that just does not go as planned. You’re driving to work—this might not sound like anything special, but trust me, it is. Today’s the first…
Last week we read some really great posts about navigating back to school season, helping our kiddos deal with grief, and how to balance our feelings with our faith. If you're looking for some amazing…
Can I just admit something right now? I don’t really know what I’m doing. You’ve probably noticed. No, strike that. You’ve definitely noticed, and you’ve been kind. Sometimes you’ve shared your honest thoughts. I’m sure…
Many people jump into foster care because they want to love on kids (which is awesome!). There is no shame here in choosing to open your home to a child who needs a safe place…
Before you get that call from the caseworker, add these things to your to-do list. We know that list is long, but we promise, these things will make all the difference. How do we know?…
It hit me last night. You see, my girls LOVE Play-Doh, and my mom was kind enough to buy them some to bring back to our house. I, on the other hand, have a love-hate…
Living the single life can be so freeing. The freedom and independence we, as single people, have is so joyous—being able to do what we want at the drop of a hat. Honestly, I’ve loved…
As a parent in a blended family, I have many titles, but a simple Mom will do. Technically, I am Birth Mom, Step Mom, Foster Mom, and Adoptive Mom. But in real life, I simply…
Let’s talk about the teen years. Our little people grow into young adults and with that comes new challenges and joys. We each have our thoughts about teens in general. Add in foster care to…
I’m not sure if anyone I know would describe any part of life as “easy,” especially not the foster families I know. Whether it’s a comment from a stranger in the grocery store, the dread…
We know that helping your children record their lives can be challenging, and we want to help! Download the FREE Who Loves series lifebook designed not only to help you record your children's lives, but also…
Life got interesting in our household a few weeks ago. Two little girls, ages 3 & 4, entered our home and hearts. We love them and yet with all the joy, there are challenges.
Yesterday marked 3 months. 90 days. 2,160 hours. I’ve been a MOM. I’m sorry, whaaaat?! So often my selfishness comes through. Why did I do this? I had such freedom before. Now I have a…
Navigating a relationship with your child's birth parent or helping your children process their feelings about their birth parents is not easy, and we have a FREE resource to help you do exactly that.
Maybe you're thinking about foster care. You've started to research what you're about to jump into, and you want to be as informed as you can. You've contacted an agency. Maybe you've even started your…
It doesn’t matter what age or stage you’re currently in, having friends to walk beside you is a good thing. A sweet thing. I’m finding that true even, and especially, in this foster care journey.
Before we ever said “yes” to our first placement, we wanted to make sure we were setting ourselves AND our kids up for success. For us, that meant evaluating our health as a family. How…
I think back to the beginning of this whole journey. Foster care classes. After the lesson for the day, our instructor would ask if we had any questions. After a few weeks in, we already…