What happens when a child ages out of foster care? In addition to processing the grief of what they’ve lost, children in this circumstance have to navigate the world as an adult sometimes completely on their own.
This is the story of my guest today. Jessica Cawthorn and her siblings were cared for by extended family after the death of her parents. But in the 9th Grade, Jessica formally entered foster care and aged out of the foster care system at 18 years old.
Today, Jessica works for the Administration of Children and Families and is a Texas CASA Board Member. She is married to her husband, Jonathan, and they have three children together—two through adoption and one by birth.
In this conversation, you’ll hear some of the circumstances that led to a failed adoption, how Jessica faced aging out on her own, and practical ways we can support children who are about to age out of care.
- Follow Jessica on Instagram
- Give to The Forgotten Initiative
- Foster Care & the Church
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. Assess what you can handle.
If you are considering adoption, take the time to assess your capacity before you involve a child. A failed adoption is hard for all parties involved. You should not feel shame if this isn’t the right option for your family, but we should try to handle this in a loving way with good communication to everyone involved.
“Assess where you are at and how you are feeling. It’s okay to be overwhelmed. It’s okay to feel like my plate is overloaded.”
2. You have to grieve what you’ve lost.
Regardless of who you are, it’s important to grieve the losses of what you expected life would look like. For Jessica, she faced aging out of the foster care system and had to prepare for life on her own, having to grieve the loss of family and normalcy.
“I had to grieve that I would never be a normal teenager. Instead of trying out for the drill team in my senior year, I had to work to save money for when I would age out of foster care.”
3. No one ever outgrows needing support.
Everyone needs community and support, no matter their age. If you are a foster parent, you can help a child in your care prepare to be on their own by locating resources in your area, offering support beyond when they age out, and connecting them with a community. This is an area that local churches have an opportunity to step into by supporting children who have aged out or are about to age out.
“Aging out is one of the hardest things I’ve done because you go from being in the foster care world and having lots of people in your life and then you have no one.”
Meet Our Guest
Jessica Cawthorn is a former foster child and adoptive parent. She works for the Administration of Children and Families and serves on the Texas CASA Board. Jessica and her siblings were cared for by extended family after the death of their parents. She was later placed in a children’s home and then formally entered foster care in the 9th grade before she eventually aged out of foster care. Jessica is married to Jonathan and together they have three children – one biological and two through adoption.
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