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Episode 170: How to Love Our LGBTQ+ Foster Children (w/ Laurie Krieg)

By February 13, 2023Podcast

The LGBTQIA+ conversation has intersected with foster care heavily in recent years and it has prompted many people in the foster care community to have questions such as: How can we care for our LGBTQ+ kids as foster parents who hold to a historical, Christian view of marriage? How should the Church come alongside LGBTQ+ foster parents who do not hold to historical, Christian view of marriage? And many more.

If you are unaware of what each of the letters stands for or haven’t seen the “IA” part of LGBTQIA+, here’s what each letter represents: L – lesbian, G – gay, B – bisexual, T – transgender, Q – queer, I – intersex, A – asexual. The “+” indicates many more that could be mentioned, but I’ll pause there for now.

I’m thrilled to have Laurie Krieg with me as we navigate this topic of sexuality and gender through the lens of the Gospel. Laurie identified a default to a same-sex attraction when she was starting at five years old. She wrestled with what this meant for her Christian faith throughout her young adult life. Laurie identifies as both a Christ-follower and a part of the LGBTQ+ community and has been on the front lines of the sexuality conversation since 2014.

Today, Laurie is the president of Impossible Ministries, a coaching ministry with the mission to equip the Church with a Gospel-centered approach to marriage and sexuality. Laurie is also a coach, speaker, author, podcaster, mom to three, and has a mixed-orientation marriage with her husband, Matt.

This conversation is so important, and I want to encourage you to listen in!

TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:

1. Combat your anxiety.

Does the mere mention of anything LGBTQIA+ give you a spike in anxiety? It may seem like a scary topic, but much of that is because many messages from the Church have instilled fear around this topic. The more we can overcome our anxiety and hold off judgment, the better we will be able to connect with our children and seek to understand what they are really feeling.

“God doesn’t parent us through control so we shouldn’t parent our kids that way either.”

2. Focus on building relational equity.

When our children express an attraction or question their gender, we need to learn to ask questions. When your daughter says she likes a girl in her class, ask What do you like about her? When we do this, we are able to uncover their heart and what they need from God. It could be safety, protection, or a sense of belonging. Our job is to uncover the hole in their heart they are wanting to fill.

“These are kids who are looking for a place to belong and this is a way they are doing that. Realizing this can bring down the anxiety a notch.”

3. Express your grief, not frustration.

We can have grief over our “missing the mark” of God’s original design for our children, but we need to be careful how we express that grief. We cannot have a boycott policy or roll our eyes at anything LGBTQIA+ related. When we react that way, we have to understand that we are rolling our eyes at people who experience that as hate towards their inner experience. It’s important that we very carefully watch what we say so we are approaching people with love.

“Grief is when we see we are missing the mark when it comes to God’s beauty and His design.”

SPREAD THE WORD!

We hope this episode has helped you wherever you are on your foster care journey. That’s the goal! If so, will you tell others?

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Meet Our Guest

Laurie Krieg is a coach, speaker, author, podcaster, and the president of Impossible Ministries, a coaching ministry with the mission to equip the Church with a gospel-centered approach to marriage and sexuality. Laurie serves on the board of directors for The Center for Faith, Sexuality & Gender. She is earning a master’s degree in Evangelism and Leadership. Laurie lives in West Michigan with her husband, Matt, and their three children.

Foster Parents, check with your agency to see if listening to this podcast will count toward your foster care training hours!

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