Cami Haussler’s childhood was marked by turbulence. By the time she was 10, both of her parents had passed away. Her formative years were filled with a long string of life changes, and it seemed like every time she got close to a caregiver, they would leave her.
Eventually, Cami was adopted by her grandparents, but despite the love they showed her, Cami often struggled to let them in, fearing that they too would pass away and leave her alone again.
Today, Cami’s experiences have come full circle—she’s now an adoptive parent who has fostered 12 children and taken on a core role at a private child placement agency.
In this episode, Cami openly shares how the emotional struggles of her childhood molded her into the woman she is today, how her mindset as a foster and adoptive parent had to expand into one of grace and selflessness, the biggest challenges from her experience as an adoptee, how to avoid developing a “savior complex” as a foster parent, and so much more.
Listen in!
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. Love can be a lifeboat for a child adrift.
Children who have faced loss can have a hard time opening their hearts and trusting again. When a foster child expresses feelings of hopelessness, we don’t need to make grand promises that everything in their life will be perfect from now on. But reassuring them that right here, right now, we are here to love and protect them can be enough to help them hold on to hope.
“I can’t promise you that she’s not going to die. But I can promise you that she loves you and she’s here right now.”
2. Our wants are not always the child’s needs.
As a foster parent, it can be easy to start fighting for what you want, rather than what is best for the child. Sometimes, becoming a permanent part of your family might be the best path forward for a child. But a family healed and reunified is the best solution whenever it’s possible. In times when you need to let go of a child you love deeply, trust that the Lord will be there to walk with you and with that child.
“I really just would pray about it, and see and feel and try to figure out what was best for this kiddo that was in our home that I loved deeply, and what their path was going to be, and advocate for what was best.”
3. Hold grace for vulnerable families.
When we grow to love the foster children in our care, the mind can start to jump to conclusions about what type of people their biological family might be. But a core part of being a foster parent is resisting naive assumptions about the character of people who have had different experiences than you. Instead of working against a child’s biological parents, we can encourage them, work with them, and support them whenever we can.
“I love that she calls me mom. I don’t like how we got there.”
Meet Our Guest
Cami Haussler is a Foster Care Program Manager at Bethany Christian Services. In her role at this private child placement agency, she helps families through the certification process, talks with churches about the support needs of the foster care system, and supports parents through their journeys of fostering or adopting. Cami is a proud mother of three children, one of whom she adopted. As an adoptee herself who has fostered 12 children, Cami is passionate about helping others navigate the challenges and joys of this path.
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