TW: While Joan does not go into specific details, this episode does contain mentions of her experiences of abuse, and we wanted you to be aware of that before listening.
Trauma affects people in unique and challenging ways. Our guest on this week’s episode shares what it’s like to experience pieces that are missing as she tries to recall her own past.
Joan Ulsher is a writer, philanthropist, retired U.S. Army Major, and an award-winning child advocate. During her own childhood, Joan survived abuse and experienced the foster care system firsthand. Today, she says many of her formative years feel like “Swiss cheese” because of all the holes in her memory. Joan tells her story in a memoir entitled Misplaced Childhood: A True Story of Resiliency and Child Advocacy.
In this conversation, you’ll hear how Joan has navigated her mind blocking out childhood memories, how her advocacy efforts have changed her inner narrative from that of a victim to that of a survivor, how finding Christ has given her life new purpose, and so much more.
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. Many children are suffering in secret.
When Joan was experiencing abuse as a child, she and her siblings tried to seek help from law enforcement, but when the police checked in, the children felt scared to speak up in front of their parents. They hid their abuse for years out of embarrassment, fear, and shame. It’s our responsibility to be the type of adult who looks closer when they notice warning signs of abuse to help children find help in dark situations.
“My story is probably not too different than what is going on for many youth and children in America today. And maybe, just like us, you don’t talk about it. The shame, the humiliation, the embarrassment, the secrets, the manipulations, the bribery. We just don’t know what we don’t know about what isn’t getting reported today.”
2. One person can make a huge difference in a child’s life.
When Joan did get placed in foster care, it was due to an anonymous call made by someone whose identity she still doesn’t know. However, she remembers one kind neighbor and some of her school teachers who expressed genuine care about her and worry for her safety. Looking back, Joan feels thankful that somebody was looking out for her in her time of need.
“Somebody cared, and it was that one person making a difference in my life behind the scenes who really broke it open for me and my brother.”
3. When you give your life to Christ, you gain everything you need.
When the challenges of life weighed Joan down, she fully surrendered herself to God and felt tremendous relief. She was able to open her heart up to Him and to others, let go of her need for control, release her shame, and leave everything in His hands. No matter what hardships your past may hold, God desires to walk alongside you the whole way..
“To truly give yourself to Christ and just let Him have everything is so freeing.”
Meet Our Guest
Joan Ulsher is a San Antonio-based writer, philanthropist, retired U.S. Army Major, and award-winning child advocate. A survivor of abuse with first-hand experience of foster care, Joan serves children and teens as a Court Appointed Special Advocate, or CASA Advocate, in the foster care system in Bexar County, Texas. Net profits from the sales of Misplaced Childhood directly benefit Child Advocates San Antonio, a 501(c)3 organization. To learn more about Joan, and her memoir or to find a CASA/GAL program in your community please visit her website.
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