Foster care and questions go hand-in-hand. One of the most common questions we hear being asked in foster care is, “How will bringing kids in and out of our home affect our forever kids?” Often people respond to that question with, “How will NOT bringing kids in and out of your home affect your forever kids?”
If you’re currently fostering, don’t disregard this post!
We’ve compiled four of our favorite articles to help you think, process, and pray through both of these questions. Whether you are just starting to think about fostering, or you’ve been fostering for years.
Current foster parents, these articles can also help you assess how your kids are doing. Implement check-ins and talk through the things you learn from these articles.
“I’m stirred by the many parents in my church who shepherd their children to embrace sacrifice. I’ve seen God comfort grieving kids when their foster siblings left the home. I’ve seen him make bold witnesses of children involved in ministry to the homeless. I’ve seen him kindle joy in those who gave generously from their piggy banks and babysitting money. Witnessing this fruit builds my confidence that God will also care for my children as they learn the cost of following him.”
“Within the week he was asking any kids he saw walking alone anywhere we went if they needed a home and wanted to come home with us. We had to remind him that taking a kid off the street was called kidnapping not fostering and while we laughed at his excitement I knew how badly he wanted any child around us to feel safe and loved. I knew his big heart would be a huge asset to any child we had living in our home but I also knew that asking him to open that beautiful heart to foster care was going to hurt a bit, too.”
“Loss is a part of life. Some people deal with grief in a healthy way and others do not. My husband and I try to be intentional in validating our children’s feelings. But figuring out how a child grieves is not as easy as an adult. For me, I was able to tell my kids and husband how sad I was. When I cried, I let my kids hear me say, “I really miss _____ and it is ok to miss them.
“But when children grieve, it often does not look like grieving. It often times look like something completely unrelated to grief. So how do you help your kids grieve the loss of foster child, essentially a sibling?”
“I believe God gives us our experiences to shape us in ways that make us better equipped to serve others with a particular need. But more can be done to help prepare biological children whose parents foster so that placements are successful, stress is managed, and terminations are reduced.”
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