Jamie Finn is back on the podcast this week! On top of being a foster parent, Jamie is the host of the Real Mom Podcast, co-founder of Goods & Better, and the director of Foster the Family. Most recently, Jamie authored Foster the Family: Encouragement, Hope, and Practical Help for the Christian Foster Parent, which provides support for the challenges in foster care that can leave you feeling depleted, alone, and discouraged. In this episode, we talk with Jamie about the process of writing her new book, the ins and outs of her journey as a foster parent, how God has been continuing to grow her personally, the right motivation for self-care, and how we can still trust God when the brokenness of the system feels heavy.
(Over the next couple days, we’ll be running a giveaway on Instagram for a copy of Jamie’s book! Click here to enter.)
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. God is with the children we care for, even when we can’t be.
It’s hard not to dread the times when the children in our care feel overwhelmed, confused, or abandoned. We want to protect them from all the hurts they have already experienced or will ever experience. It can feel like it isn’t fair that they have to be caught up in navigating a broken system and working through their trauma. It is during these times that we are reminded that God is even more protective of these children than we are! He cares for them more deeply and He is the one that will be with them every moment of every day. We can trust God to care for our children, even if they are no longer in our care.
“God is with my kids. He is for them. He can supernaturally comfort them in ways that I never could.”
2. Practice a healthy definition of self-care.
What is your definition of self-care? Do you ignore it? Do you use it as an excuse to indulge or escape? Or as a way to fill yourself back up and acknowledge your own needs? As we heard from Jamie, a healthy definition of self-care is one that is motivated by love. As parents, we have a tendency to forget that we cannot be the sole source of meeting others’ needs. Only Jesus can do that and even when He walked on earth, He still modeled taking times of rest. As foster parents and human beings, we need to take the time to recognize our limitations and to pursue a type of self-care that affirms our need for Jesus. Self-care is how we care for our bodies, brains, souls, and relationships so we can better show up for what God has called us to.
“Self-care should be motivated by love, driven by wisdom, and walked out in humility.”
3. When you are at a loss about what to pray, it is enough to simply come to the Father.
Jamie’s honesty about her struggle figuring out what to pray during foster care is so helpful. If we are all honest, we have felt that way at times as well. Through her journey, Jamie discovered that we don’t need to have the right words or even have words at all when we pray. What is most important is that we continue to turn to God. He knows our hearts and the pain we experience when we are depleted or overwhelmed. When we are feeling at a loss or discouraged, God isn’t expecting us to be put together. He is the close friend that we can ugly cry with and even scream “It’s not fair!” at times.
“It was so freeing to me to realize that there wasn’t a right prayer. That I couldn’t just form the right words, but coming to Him is really all that I needed to be pursuing.”
Meet Our Guest
Jamie Finn is the biological, adoptive, and foster mother of 4-6 children. When she’s not homeschooling, changing diapers, playing Pokemon, making slime, and singing “Let it Go,” she spends her time encouraging, equipping, and serving foster and adoptive parents. She is the host of the Real Mom Podcast, co-founder of Goods & Better, and the director of Foster the Family, a nonprofit which encourages and supports foster and adoptive families, mobilizes the church and community, and advocates for vulnerable children. Jamie has recently authored the book Fostering the Family: Encouragement, Hope, and Practical Help for the Christian Foster Parent. She lives with her husband of 16 years, Alan, in New Jersey with their children.
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