I’m grateful for this week’s episode. Children in foster care have so much going on beyond what we can see on the surface. But what is it that can sometimes cause our children to act out, rebel, or “push our buttons”? My guest today was not only a child in foster care for over 7 years, but she also now works with parents to uncover how to better show up for their children, especially their teens.
Serena Rice is a Supervised Visitation Specialist, parenting coach, children’s book author, and former foster child. Her experience as a foster child influenced her to start her own coaching practice to help parents build deeper trust and strong connections with their children. In today’s episode, she shares her story of jumping from foster home to foster home, how parents can better communicate with teens in foster care, what her healing journey has looked like, and much more.
Whether you care for a teen in foster care or not, you don’t want to miss Serena’s story, perspective, and wisdom.
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. It all starts with understanding and trust.
For teens, everything is built on the foundation of trust and understanding. When we start with an attitude of understanding, there is no longer a fear driving them to hide things or rebel just to regain control. It’s important to avoid interrogating them, and to learn to listen for the sake of understanding rather than for the purpose of gaining information.
“It was so hard to find a foster home that treated me with respect.”
2. You have to look at the roots.
Serena shared the analogy of how behaviors are like a flower. We typically only see the petals rather than the roots. The petals are the behaviors our child or teen has. But we have to look past those behaviors to really see the feelings, needs, experiences, and trauma at the root of the behaviors.
“When you are thinking about a teen’s behavior, there are so many things under the surface that we have to consider before we judge.”
3. It’s important to uncover what a child needs.
Especially when an older child or teen first comes into your home, you want to be sure to ask them what they need. Many children don’t get to bring all their favorite things with them, or there may be something that would help this feel more like a home. Try asking them questions like: What didn’t you get to take with you? Would you like to go shopping to get some special things for your room? Is there anything you feel would help you during this big transition?
“You have to ask yourself: What are they feeling, needing, and experiencing?”
- Join Team 3:10
- Use code “forgottenpod” for 10% off the Who Loves Series
- Follow Serena on Instagram and TikTok
- The Let’s Feel Book on Instagram and Facebook
- Family Thrive Parenting (Serena’s Coaching)
- Let’s Feel: An Emotional Regulation Book for Young Children
Meet Our Guest
Serena Rice is a Supervised Visitation Specialist, parenting coach, children’s book author, and former foster child. Serena holds a degree in Health and Human Services from Ultimate Medical Academy. She specializes in parent-child relations, child development, and trauma-informed practices. Serena’s own experience in foster care from the age of 10 to 17 influenced her to start a business to help parents build stronger connections and deeper trust with their children.
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