Do you have some hard questions when it comes to adoption and foster care? Maybe you’re unsure if you’re up to the challenge. Maybe you’re unsure how to best support a child in adjusting to their new circumstances. No matter what you’re facing, you’re not alone.
April Guffey is dedicated to being a resource for adoptive and foster parents, as well as the children in their care. April is an adoptee, former foster youth, and owner of Mercy and Healing, which is an adoption coaching practice. She has an incredible story of finding true wholeness through Christ and unexpectedly reconnecting with her biological father.
Through her own lived experiences as a former foster youth, April has seen the gap in services for adoptive parents and adoptees. Her passion is to fill that gap by providing a safe place to ask questions, vent, and gain new insight. Join me as April shares her story and wisdom today!
TAKEAWAYS FROM TODAY’S CONVERSATION:
1. Every adoptive or foster child has a “primal wound.”
This primal wound is present in any child who has experienced foster care or adoption. It is the sense and the longing for family the way that God created it to be. April shares how, even in cases where you may not hold any specific memories of your biological parents, every child experiences feelings of abandonment and questions their self-worth after being separated from their family.
“Trauma is a pre-requisite to adoption.”
2. Should you continue fostering after you adopt a child?
There is no hard-and-fast rule here. However, it’s important to consider what kind of impact continuing to foster will have on your adoptive child. For some adoptive children, it can be retraumatizing to be separated from a foster child they have bonded with. Consider your specific situation and the impact fostering will have on your adoptive child, and involve them in that decision if they are old enough to share their perspective.
“A child leaving your home may trigger that abandonment in your adoptive child.”
3. We repeat what we don’t repair.
Each of us has to take the time to address the trauma and pain in our past. This is hard work that we will likely have to deal with throughout our lives. But if we don’t, we are guaranteed to repeat the past. The work we are doing today to repair our past is what is breaking generational trauma!
“You can either dig in, which is a whole lot harder, and change the course of your marriage, the course of your mental health, and the course of your kids. And that is so powerful and worth it.”
Meet Our Guest
April Guffey is an adoptee, former foster youth, and owner of Mercy and Healing, an adoption coaching business. Through her own lived experiences as a former foster youth, April has seen the gap in services for adoptive parents and adoptees. Her passion is supporting parents by being a safe place for them to ask questions, vent, and gain new insight. April lives in Oregon with her husband and two children. In their spare time, they love to hike and camp.
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